Toolkit
Deeper Purpose
3-2-1 Shadow Practice
What
The 3-2-1 Process is a simple and effective tool for working with the shadow — any part of ourselves that we unconsciously repress or deny. The thrust of the psychotherapy is to make the unconscious conscious. The 3-2-1 Process uses shifts in perspective as a way of identifying and integrating shadow material. “3-2-1” refers to 3rd-person, 2nd-person, and 1st-person — the perspectives that we move through in this exercise.
Why
Each part that we disown is at first an aspect of our “I” or 1st-person awareness. But, for whatever reason, that aspect poses a threat. So we push it outside of ourselves, often onto someone else. It’s important to note that the aspect can be positive or negative. We can disown both lower and higher aspects of ourselves. In either case, we project it as you . . . but not me. “You are angry.” “You are being selfish.” “You are worthy,” etc. In other words, we displace it from a 1st-person I to a 2nd-person you.
If the threat of this emotion or situation becomes so great it requires a total rejection, we banish it totally as a 3rd-person It, stripped of humanity. At that point, we can often recognize shadow as a sense of irritation, reactivity, fear, phobia, rage, or aversion toward things… but we don’t really know why.
How
First choose a “difficult person” to whom you are attracted or repelled (e.g., romantic partner, boss, parent), or pick a dream image or a body sensation that creates a disturbance in your awareness. Keep in mind the disturbance may be a positive or negative one. Then follow the 3 steps of the process described below. For the short form, spend about 5 minutes on each perspective. For the long form, you can spend 10-15 minutes or longer.
You can either talk through the process or use a journal to write it out. If talking, imagine the person or thing sitting across from you. If using a journal, simply write out each of the following steps.
3 — FACE IT
Describe the person, image, or sensation in vivid detail using 3rd-person pronouns (e.g., he, him, she, her, they, their, it, its). This is your opportunity to explore your experience fully, particularly what it is that bothers you. Don’t minimize the disturbance—take the opportunity to describe it as fully as possible.
2 — TALK TO IT
Enter into a dialogue with this object of awareness using 2nd-person pronouns (you and yours). This is your opportunity to enter into a relationship with the disturbance, so talk directly to the person, image, or sensation. You may ask questions such as “Who/what are you? Where do you come from? What do you want from me? What do you need to tell me? What gift are you bringing me?” Then allow the disturbance to respond back to you. Allow yourself to be surprised by what emerges in the dialogue.
1 — BE IT
Now, writing or speaking in first person, become the person, image or sensation you have been exploring. Use the first person pronouns (I, me, mine). See the world, including yourself, entirely from the perspective of that disturbance, and allow yourself to discover not only your commonalities, but also how you really are one and the same. Finally, make a statement of identification: “I am _____” or “_____ is me.” Now integrate this perspective into a larger you, feeling it as an integral part of your being.
by Montaia